In late April I am taking long service leave from my job as a teacher. I am taking 10 glorious weeks of leave to write a novel or two.
If I am going to sit on my behind for that time, I want to be comfortable.
And the most comfortable accoutrement for that time is a pair of tracky dacks. Tracky dacks is what we in the southern hemisphere and The Antipodes is our term for sweat pants. Think of Sue Sylvester from Glee without the matching top and megaphone. Although, come to think of it, a matching track suit might be the way to go.
But I need your help. I need your corporate sponsorship for this pret-a-porter collection.
Here’s what I am proposing: during my time writing The Next Big Thing In Novels, I will wear your trakky daks and post a photo of me wearing them, accompanied by an update of the day’s progress. Send me your tired, worn out, holey tracky dacks; your pink fluffy numbers with “Juicy” written across the derriere; your forgotten MC Hammer pants.
Emblazon them with your novel, website address, picture of your kitten, band logo.
Free promotion: priceless.
Send me your tracky dacks.
I have even found tracky dacks for the more formal writing times: Dress Pant Tracky Dacks.
They will go lovely with a pair of suit pyjamas. Maybe I could find the Hamish and Andy track-xedo.
And if you could sling me a pair of ugg boots too, that would be glorious.
Addendum. Was thinking that if people really wanted to send me tracky dacks with their own promotional material, I would be more than happy. Then, once I have finished the novel, I can give them away to lucky readers with a copy of the book. (This will depend on how you define ‘lucky’ if you want to receive a pair of worn, but laundered, tracky dacks).
A Fullness in Brevity - Adam Byatt 