Tag Archives: poetry

What’s In A Pronoun?

The other day I scribbled this hastily worded poem onto twitter

She ties the night sky
loosely at her throat
a cape of stars trails behind
curls it around the boy
with the cape of sunshine
a gentle kiss

So far, so good.

However, it started differently.

The original line was “He ties the night sky/loosely at his throat”. To me it was reminiscent of children playing superheroes, tying an old towel or something similar around their throats as an impromptu cape (even if Edna Mole says, “No capes!”).

I was halfway through writing the poem, had an ending in sight, and I stopped myself and asked why I had used the masculine pronoun. On Twitter space is a premium and the inclusion of an extra letter could mean tighter editing in other places.

If I am writing poetry I will use pronouns in place of names for the sake of brevity and to give the persona a general facade for the reader to ascribe her/his own interpretation.

However, the masculine pronoun is not my default position; the content of the poem generally dictates my choice of gendered pronoun. Many of my stories focus on the feminine.

In this case, the use of the masculine pronoun was predicated by the content. Boys and capes are familiar tropes. The masculine is the dominant voice in our culture, to the exclusion of the feminine.

Therefore to change the pronoun is to change the emphasis of the narrative. 

There is nothing deep or meaningful on this poem but to change the pronoun order from masculine to feminine is to give agency and power, something our society needs to do more of.

Even in looking over the word choices in the poem as it currently stands, changes would affect meaning. If I used “man” instead of “boy” I alter the emphasis, the perception of the reading. Similarly, replace “boy” with “girl.” How would you read it now?

The written language is the best way we have to communicate, as inadequate as it some times. 

Are you conscious of the gender you ascribe to your work? How do you apply it?

The Texts of a New Generation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With a gentle nod to the advertising of the 80s and 90s in the title of this post I want to explore the idea that during your formative years, especially teens to early 20s, what you consume in terms of culture (music, film, tv, magazines etc) shapes your decision making processes and actions.

It was sparked by a story I read where the music and lyrics of the 70s, in particular Pink Floyd, David Bowie and the Ramones, shaped the zeitgeist of the culture and in turn shaped the decision making and perspective of the main character to the point when he had reached his late 30s that it was almost too late.

This sparked a brief twitter mind dump, collated here for your perusal, about what I watched, listened to, and consumed in my youth, that of the late 80s and early 90s. This in turn made me wonder what my girls (aged 10 and 8) are watching and listening to, and will be watching and listening to (right now my wife and I have influence and decision making over what they watch and listen to but in the years to come they will develop autonomy for their consumption of culture). 

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I am a child of the 80s and 90s, the last of Generation X. I grew up listening to thrash and speed metal, hard rock, U2. I watched Friends, Mad About You, early Simpsons, The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Seinfeld, X-Files, ET, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Terminator 2 and much more.

These are the cultural products I consumed and in turn have shaped my thinking and decision making. The catch cry of that period was a balance between Gordon Gecko’s mantra, “Greed is good” and the turbulent introspective narcissism of grunge, the highlighting of the individual as greater than the whole and you don’t need nothing but a good time (hair metal of the 80s/90s was priceless).

Where does that leave us now, in the throes of middle age, with children and a mortgage, and perhaps a sense of disillusionment? Have the promises of our youth been fulfilled or is it still a romantic notion that will never be? 

Every cultural touchstone has a family tree, a connection to the past from where it developed its departure point. We wouldn’t have South Park, Family Guy or American Dad if it wasn’t for The Simpsons. 

I see my students consuming the pop of Katy Perry, Rihanna, Kanye; the sexual mores of Sex and The City, Girls, Modern Family. Where will they be in their middle age after feasting on the values of modern pop culture?

Again, I’m not positing a particular point of view or have any clear answers (although there are no doubt cultural commentators and sociologists who study this and have better knowledge; I’m merely brainstorming).

Here’s the takeaway: be a critical consumer; think about the attitudes and values a text is communicating. Do you agree with it or not?

And for creative people, what does that mean for us in terms of what we create?

  • Are we supporting or subverting current values, attitudes and mores?
  • Are we condemning, critiquing or questioning the focus of our culture?
  • Are we aiming to improve or develop our culture, because, yes, art/film/literature has a point.
  • Are we creating for the present or for the future? This is an important question as I think our answers encompass both. We create for the now, a reflection on the where we are at with our thinking, and for the future as a marker of what we wish to become as artists.

No answers. More questions. A starting point for a conversation. Have at it in the comments. 

On Fear and Its Perception

“I write in order that I may travel with my soul into the places I fear and I may have a friend to share the journey.”

I wrote and posted this on Twitter the other day and very soon after clicking the “Tweet” button I questioned and doubted the validity and veracity of my statement.

I have written before about how I believe fear holds me back from exploring the creative life I want. The above statement is in contradiction to my manifesto and vision for why I write.

Or is it?

I have no clear answer; more a series of random reflections which may or may not lead to a clear answer. It’s like cleaning your glasses only to have them dirtier than when you started.

What follows is simply scraps of thoughts about what I wrote and differing perceptions of it. I am not sure I am right; nor am I sure I am wrong. I will contradict myself, provoke myself, push and question myself. And you can have your addition in the comments.

  • Writing is about exploring your own fears; the fears you have of yourself and of the facets of life you find frightening.
  • Fear is lacking an understanding of the unknown, the different, the obtuse, the unfathomable. To understand is to give a name to the fear; to know its place and its where it resides.
  • My reader is the companion on the journey. They travel with me through the words on the page. At some time in their life they may, or may not, have experienced the same fear.
  • What I write may bring comfort to know someone else has experienced the same fear; it may trigger a response; it may have no effect because the experience related in the story is not connected to their own life experiences.
  • The opposite of fear is… what? Hope? Vision? Clarity? Discipline?
  • The same chemical that is the basis for fear, adrenaline, is the same chemical that is the basis for excitement. Is fear the way our bodies tell us something new and exciting is about to happen?
  • Defining fear as it relates specifically to yourself is the first step. What am I afraid of? Is it personal fear, an internal dialogue, or an external fear of something random outside your control? Is there a topic or issue you do not want to explore because of the fear it generates for yourself or fearful of the consequences of exposing it?

So, no answers. Definitely more questions but I know where my thinking is leading me.

If I rewrote my tweet, I would explore another aspect of why I write, another permutation of thinking about creativity and its purposes.

“I write in order that I may travel with my soul into the places I seek to understand and I may have a friend to share the journey.”

“I write in order that I may travel with my soul into the places I find comfort in and I may have a friend to share the journey.”

“I write in order that I may travel with my soul into the places I want to light a flame of light and life and I may have a friend to share the journey.”

 

What would you say?

Untranslatable – Poem

Sometimes you come across a phrase, a sentence, a line or two of poetry that resonate with power; a demonstration that words are remarkable.

Recently I came across Felicity Plunkett (@FelicPlunkett) via a tweet. It was only a few lines of poetry but the strength of them moved me.

“I want both that you find me
and that my disappearance
                    is untranslatable”

from Lost Sea Voices

It was the word “untranslatable” that piqued my mind; it’s use is unpredictable, causes you to stop and pause, contemplate the word choice and see that no other word fits so perfectly.

I wrote this in response when I retweeted it: “When you want to dress yourself in another’s words as they’re so beautiful, play dressups & pretend you’re this good.” (And this in itself is composting for a new poem)

It pushed me to thinking, to explore the idea, because I couldn’t shake it.

But all of this has a further backstory.

It all began with an image from Stuart Barnes, and its caption “the moon gathers its lamps”.

Stuart Barnes Image

I knocked out the following lines in a brief 3-minute window of opportunity

the moon gathers its lamps
arranges them in lines
along the tide of evening
like footsteps, to watch
them fade at dawn

It was favourited by Felicity. And as you do, you find out who is the person behind the favourite who is not following you (promise I’m not a stalker, but now a definite fanboi). She is a poet, a critic and poetry editor and recently long listed for the Montreal Poetry Prize. This is someone who knows poetry far better than me.  

Of course I followed her on twitter. Reciprocation and then conversation. I sent a copy of the poem to Felicity before I posted it; I didn’t want it to be rubbish and sour the reputation of a wonderful poet.

She approved *smug mode engaged* had some positive comments to say (will be feeding my ego for some time to come).

This is the poem, “Untranslatable”.

You search for me like a skin-kneed scholar
learning a new language with textbook enthusiasm
     marking your progress with
          scratched out pencil lines
          paper worn from vigorous erasure
          dog-eared reference points
while you prattle and prate
                    declensions and conjugations
          as if by speaking
                    you will know me
secretly flicking to the back of the book
                    for answers
     missing the point of the exercises
until the closing of the last page
and the forgetting
of what you set out to learn
I want both that you find me
and that my disappearance 
                    is untranslatable

Untranslatable

Hopes and Fears – A Poem and Deconstruction

As I am wont to do, I write poetry on twitter to explore, experiment and elucidate. 

This is today’s poem

Hopes and Fears

we are scared of our dreams;
not that our worst fears
will come to life
but the fulfilment of our hopes
will be the end of who we are

But I also have a good group of writing friends who are happy to pile on critique and feedback. Rob C suggested this: “This is great: simple-yet-complex, hugely poignant, heavily true. If you’ll allow a suggestion – ‘afraid’ instead of ‘scared’, for the softer sound, the more thoughtful intonation to match the philosophical backbone of the poem, and to match the ‘f’ sounds that run throughout.”

My response was this: It’s a little more philosophical than I am used to writing; there is no concrete imagery to ground the idea (my writing modus operandi), relying more on the intellectual to make it function.

Rob felt he may have overstepped the mark. He hadn’t. I said to him, “Nope; I like the feedback. Helps to see new things. It was written on the spur of the moment, as is most of my twitter poetry so refinement is not a part of the process. Some editing is involved but without depth. Comments help refine and edit, with the hope of putting it into an anthology in the near future.”

Writing is never a solitary act; it’s collaborative. I may write in isolation but my writing tribe helps me refine and improve my work. 

So a simple suggestion, the replacement of a single word, has made the poem stronger. 

we are afraid of our dreams;
not that our worst fears
will come to life
but the fulfilment of our hopes
will be the end of who we are

Finally, there is the reader who is involved in the construction of meaning. That’s you. What meaning do you make?

Things To Throw Away – A Poem And Its Deconstruction

This started as a poem on twitter and I thought I wanted to expand on the idea a little as a practice exercise.

Things to Throw Away:
the shaggy toothbrush
the unworn shirt
the leftovers
the poetry I wrote as a child
the fear I cannot do this

When I came to expand it, I saw the completeness of it; adding to it would be padding out the original idea, hastily written as it was.

Instead, let me explain why I chose the images and the final line. As an English teacher, this is what I get my students to do: deconstruct a text to see how the components fit together. Therefore it behoves me to do it to my own work, to understand what I am doing and why; to make conscious the unconscious.

I chose the images as concrete ones, specific items the reader would recognise, an item they could visualise in their own house. Each item contains the principle that they have been held on to for too long, or has outlived its usefulness.

I am known to hang on to toothbrushes for longer than is recommended, and it’s not a big effort to get a new one, but there’s a comfort in what is known. I could replace the shaggy toothbrush image with that of holey underpants for more of a giggle.

The image of the unworn shirt suggests an item that we hold on to because it was a gift, or it was something we want to fit into, but it’s another delusion of ourselves.

Leftovers in my fridge are either consumed immediately or linger like a lost soul, discovered when there is a culture of organisms breeding. Why do we do it? Neglect? Forgetfulness? Apathy? 

Bad emo poetry; we all have to start somewhere as writers. I still have notebooks I wrote in as a teenager and I recognise the child that I was. Nostalgia holds very tightly onto objects of significance and is afraid to relinquish them.

The final line was always designed to be a twist, a shift from the concrete to the metaphysical and emotional. For me, a poem about emotions needs to be grounded in physical objects, a concrete image. It can also be done with clever similes or metaphors but I prefer physical descriptions (perhaps a weakness to strengthen – to think more poetically).

It’s about letting go, releasing yourself and being free of objects, memories or emotions that restrict your development. Would it help you to know it’s autobiographical?

There you have it. A poem and its deconstruction. If you disagree, have at it in the comments.

Thanks for reading.

Absence – A Poem

It’s been a week of rediscovering micropoetry, using the boundaries and confines of 140 characters on Twitter.

This poem was inspired by a comment from Australian author, James Bradley, on depression. His comment also inspired an idea for a short story I have written down and filed away for further development. Right now it’s on the compost heap, fed with scraps of thought until I see what sprouts.

Absence

Absence grows like a shadow
lengthening with the sun
and turns light to darkness
to fill the space
retreating at its turn
never disappearing

On reflection on the type of poetry I write, focused on the little things of the everyday, I resist the urge to use simile. Metaphor, or sustained metaphor, feels less jarring than the input of a simile. However for this one the imagery required the simile to set up the remainder of the poem and the final line. 

Looking at it now, I could replace the first line with a metaphor, “Absence is a shadow,” and I feel it works better, making the link to the imagery cleaner and less like a teacher demonstration. 

The other issue is the use of “its” (line 5) as it is unclear what is the subject of the preposition. I know “its” refers to the sun but that may be unclear to the reader and you want the imagery and lines to stand for itself, not require the reader to unpack the grammar to find out what is truly meant.

So, an edited version.

Absence is a shadow
lengthening with the sun
turns light to darkness
to fill the space
retreating at the turn
never disappearing

Slogans for Poetry – A Poem

This excerpt was the inspiration for another twitter poem. 

Tomorrowland, directed by Brad Bird, was a box office disappointment and has been poorly received by critics. It has a 49% on Rotten Tomatoes. A. O. Scott of the New York Times wrote that the film, “searching for incitements to dream, finds slogans and mistakes them for poetry.”
The full article is here on Buzzfeed.

our poetic voice
of heart’s passion
mind’s emotion
is reduced to
soundbite
slogan
sycophancy
slowing the heart
until the pulse
peters
out

To be honest, I’m not happy with the result because A. O. Scott says it so much better. There’s such poetry in his statement that my attempt to remix his words into something new seems feeble.

It’s a sentiment I like and one I will return to after it has composted in my head for a while longer.

What do you think of it? In the words of Count Rugen, “Remember, this is for posterity, so please, be honest.”

The Death of Youth – A Poem

The Death of Youth

This then,
is the death of youth:
the blunt pencil
the dried out pen
the paper, crumpled
and tossed into the bin
untouched

I love twitter as a forum for having conversations, speaking my mind on something and using it as a boundary when writing poetry. It is similar in scope to Post It Note Poetry where the size of the Post It Note defines the length of the poem.

Twitter’s limitation of 140 characters means brevity is the essence of the writing. Make a statement, make it clearly and let it go.

This poem was inspired by another poem I read on twitter and gave me the opening two lines. My mind was asking the question, “What signifies the end of youth?” It echoes a line from my favourite novel, “Maestro” by Peter Goldsworthy, where the narrator, Paul Crabbe says that the end of childhood is when one becomes aware of it.

As a creative person, it was the idea of the death of creativity that connected me with the death of youth. Thus the last image of the untouched piece of paper, unsullied by the first explorations of creativity, or that time in our life when we are told to put away “childish things” that signals the death of youth. 

We can have a child-like enthusiasm for creativity and not lose the spark, and develop a creative maturity so that we do not mourn the death of the thing we love.

 

The Significance of Creativity

The Significance of Creativity, or to put it another way, creativity creates significance (the noun/verb, subject/verb is a little awkward, not to mention the repetition. Oh, the vagaries of the English language).

Creativity is an act that begins with you, as an internal locus of control. It is inwardly focused, a way of understanding who you are, what you stand for and what you believe in. 

What Does Creativity Create in You?

Whether you’re at the start of your creative journey, been at it for a little while or have carved highways for others to follow, creativity creates four things within an individual: significance, community, conversation and legacy.

Significance

* Creativity creates an understanding of who you are.

Perhaps you started creating to work out the impact of a significantly emotional event in your life or as a way of exploring new ideas. 

Whatever the reason, it forms a significant part of who you are, what you identify with and how it is manifested in your creativity.

It is intensely personal, even private, and may never be shared with anyone else. It does not negate the significance of who you are. As intensely personal as creativity is, when shared with others, it gives them an insight into who you are. You have purpose and meaning, a spiritual dimension to your life.

Community

* Creativity is not a field limited to the individual.

It is often done as an individual but you should not be without a community.

Finding like-minded people as a support helps you continue what you are doing. They are a back up for when life is brutal and you want to chuck it all away. They are your confidantes and encouragers. They are also those who will love you deeply and tell you the truth about your work, especially when it sucks and needs more work.

In turn, you can teach others and expand the creative community.

Conversation

* talk to people about what you do and why.

You have a cause to champion, a positive reason to speak into people’s lives. It’s not all about you, dominating the conversation about your most recent creative project or endeavour. If people are willing to listen, speak. 

However, can you steer the conversation around to what makes your listener creative? Can you open up their mind to the possibilities of a creative project? Can you encourage them to take up an old hobby, long neglected, or aim for something new, something they have always wanted to do?

Legacy

* your work is a testament to others.

It is your character imprinted onto your creative work like children; lived, learned and loved, cherished as valuable and positive traits to have. Your commitment to others as teacher, or encourager, facilitator, supporter, collaborator.

Contribute your verse and know the significance creativity plays in your life and potentially in the life of others.