Tag Archives: life in general

Camouflage

Jake slipped into Biology class, head down, eyes up, heading for his usual seat near the window, close to the front of the room. The teacher wheeled a trolley out from the Prep Store. Lifting a large fish tank she placed it in the middle of the teacher’s desk, inviting the students to come forward.

The class crowded around the teacher’s desk staring into the large fish tank jostling for best viewing rights. It was converted into a terrarium, the top covered with thin wire gauze, filled with twigs of eucalyptus leaves. Jake found himself nearest one end of the fish tank with two girls peering around his shoulders. Heads swayed backwards and forwards, peering in, hoping to spot something.

Finally a curious student asked, “Miss, what’s in there? Apart from leaves and stuff.”

“Look closer. Look for shapes that look like sticks but perhaps are not.”

The class reconvened their search.

“Oh, look. There.” Jake pointed, his finger close enough to the glass of the fish tank to form condensation. He wiped it clean and pointed again before withdrawing.

“Where?” someone asked. “I can’t see anything.”

“Hang on, I can see it,” said the girl behind him. “It looks like a stick is hanging upside down.”

With the puzzle solved, exclamations of discovery sounded around the desk.

“Found one here.”

“There’s another on this side of the tank and it’s different again.”

The teacher began writing on the whiteboard, telling the class the scientific names of the occupants of the fish tank.

“What you see are phasmids, or more commonly known as stick insects. To be more precise, they are of the class Insecta and the family Phasmatidae.
The teacher removed the wire gauze and reached into the leaves. Drawing her hand out, a stick insect spanned the length of her hand, its legs dancing an insect version of The Robot.

“This little beauty is ctenomorpha chronus.”

“It’s like a pencil on steroids,” said one lad, causing laughter to erupt.

Jake laughed too, taking note of its pencil-like body shape, angular legs and looking for all intents and purposes, like a stick.

A few students recoiled, uttering shrieks and expressing shivers as the alien insect began to move along her hand.

“Can I hold it, Miss?” asked Jake in a bold show of visibility.

The teacher extended her arm towards Jake who offered his open palm to the insect.

Jake mimicked the stick insect’s movement with his head, rocking backwards and forwards, swaying like there was a breeze. He wished it was a fire-breathing dragon.

It had been hidden away in shape and hue. The camouflaged shades of green and brown and angular lines of legs shielded it from spying students. Outside the safety of leaf and twig the insect was vulnerable; Jake felt an affinity with the creature.

“Oi, dancing boy. Give us a go,” said one boy.

Unaware he had continued to mimic the insect’s actions ever so slightly, Jake’s face flushed. Extending his hand he watched the stick insect traverse the fleshy terrain.

The array of school uniform framing the edge of the teacher’s desk caught Jake’s attention. They looked like the leaves on a branch in their uniformity: white shirts and grey shorts for the boys and white shirts and blue skirts for the girls. A navy tie completed the camouflage.

Around the edges subtle differences emerged. Shirts tucked in and shirts tucked out. Ties adjusted to the top button, also done up, to ties flying at half-mast. Skirts exposing more thigh than covering it or knee length decorum. Blouses framed cleavage and an array of coloured bras, signals of defiance or signs of invitation. Hair was spiked, straightened, teased, gelled and preened while metal fragments adorned ears, eyebrows, lips and noses.
Jake loosened his tie slightly, fingering the top button until he felt the pressure of the collar release.

Returning the insect to its environment was a signal for the students to return to their desks. Jake retreated to his seat, blending in again as the lesson continued.

At the conclusion of the lesson Jake slipstreamed from the classroom to the corridor in the wake of the student body as it ebbed and flowed from one class to the next, pushed and pulled by the phases of the bell, disappearing from sight in a whitewash of uniforms.

The Trampoline

The Trampoline

“Andrew, would you please jump on the trampoline with me?” asked Elise.

Looking up from his comic, Andrew saw his nine year old sister wearing a floral one piece swimsuit, a homemade tutu, a cat’s ears headband and swimming goggles. The fourteen year old rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.

“Please, Andrew. You can make me bounce really, really high so that I can almost touch the leaves on the tree. Please.” The tugging at his elbow persisted until he caved.

“OK. Just five minutes.”

“Yay!” said the aeroplaning Elise flying out the door.

Andrew shoved himself away from the pulling power of the couch and followed the contrails of taffeta. Elise skipped across the yard and scrambled up the plastic steps and onto the trampoline. Happy squeals proceeded each bounce and squeak of the springs.

Climbing onto the mat Andrew found a rhythm with Elise.

“Bounce me higher. Higher, Andrew.”

Timing his landing to effect the “double bounce,” Andrew launched Elise into the air. She flapped her arms, with a smile as wide as the ocean as taffeta and tulle mimicked her arms. Laughter sprang from her little lungs. Andrew was caught up in the moment, laughing with Elise as he tried to bounce her higher and higher.

On a downward trajectory, Andrew glanced over the fence into the neighbour’s yard. He caught the briefest glimpse of half naked flesh and swimsuit material. With each jump Andrew focused on the attraction on the other side of the fence.

Stretched out in the sun was Katie,the eighteen year old neighbour, laying on her stomach on a towel, her face turned away. Beside her was a book turned face down and headphones trailing from under the book to her ears.

Bounce. Andrew turned to the figure over the fence. Each jump was a snapshot filed away in his adolescent mind, filed under “Best Moments Ever” and “Facebook Status Updates.”

Bounce. The bow tying the bikini.

Bounce. The curvature of her buttocks.

Bounce. The dappled sunlight on her calves.

Bounce. Like a flick book cartoon Andrew watched her reach around and pull the string on her top. He tried to adjust the timing of his bounce, hoping to catch a glimpse of side boob. Testosterone hopes faded as she settled into her worship of the sun.

“What’cha looking at?” asked Elise, breaking Andrew’s mental youtube sensation.

“Nothing,” said Andrew, loosing momentum. “I’ve gotta go inside.”

“Were you looking at Katie?”

“No.”

“Yes you were. I can see her over the fence. And she’s a bit nudie.”

Andrew’s legs collapsed under him, bringing him to a shuddering halt on the trampoline mat. And out of sight of Katie Next Door. With great haste he slunk away towards the house, fearing detection.

“Hi Katie. Andrew was just looking at you over the fence while he was jumping on the trampoline with me. I think he liked seeing you without many clothes on.”

The Umbrella Flowers

The rain made mad dashes down the windowpane.  Droplets raced one another to reach the bottom.  Kneeling against the back of the couch Charlotte settled into the cushions, peeking at the street through the rain.  She pretended the rain was writing messages in a special language only able to be read by a four-almost-five year old.

Charlotte pressed her hands to the window and watched the condensation form around her fingers tips. She touched her nose to the glass.  The moisture and coldness tickled the tip of her nose making her giggle.  As she giggled her breath clouded the glass and obscured her view.  Wiping the glass clear with the sleeve of her t-shirt she breathed again to see how far she could fog the glass.
“Daddy, the umbrellas are flowering again.”
Her father came and put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.
“Umbrellas only flower when it rains,” she said with the authority of a four-almost-five year old.  “They are mostly black in colour, which are sad looking.  I like it when there are some coloured ones to look at.  They are my happy umbrella flowers.”
Father and daughter knelt side by side on the couch and counted the umbrella flowers blooming in the street on their fingers.  Daddy counted black umbrella flowers while Charlotte counted happy umbrella flowers.

“Can we go outside and be umbrella flowers too, Daddy?”

A loaded question with the weight of a young girl’s expectations balanced against a father’s responsibilities.

He looked at his daughter, stroking her hair with his hand.  “I’m sorry darling, but Daddy has a lot of work to do.  Maybe some other time.”

He kissed her on the forehead and pushed himself off the couch.  Charlotte sank into the lounge cushions and went back to watching the rain.  The four-almost-five year old body language matched the gloomy pattern of the weather.

Back at his desk the storm of papers, spreadsheets, bills and accounts swirled into random patterns.  He tried to focus but couldn’t.  Leaning back in his chair he could see into the lounge room where Charlotte still sat peering out the glass.

“Stuff it.  It can wait another half an hour.”  Throwing down his pen he called out.  “Come on sweetheart, let’s go and be umbrella flowers.”
There was a mad scurry to find Dorothy the Dinosaur gumboots, raincoat and hat.  A short delay was encountered as they scrounged for umbrellas.

Standing in the doorway to the backyard Charlotte and her father watched the rain hand in hand.

“Are you ready, darling?”  With a snap of plastic an umbrella bloomed, bright red with black lady bug spots.  “Here you are.”

Charlotte dashed into the rain and stopped in the middle of the backyard, a brightly coloured flower.  She looked with glee at the rain dripping off the tips of the umbrella as it played a nursery rhyme rhythm.

“I am a happy umbrella flower, Daddy.  Look at me.”  She sploshed and splashed through the puddles in the backyard, a bright red spot of fun.

Squatting down on the garden verge Charlotte peered into the wet foliage.

“What can you see, sweetie?”

“Come look, Daddy.”

Joining his daughter at the garden’s edge he looked to where she was pointing.  A common garden snail trawled the leaf.

“His eyes are up on long, long stalks and they are looking at me,” Charlotte said.  “We won’t squash this one, Daddy, will we?”

“Not if you don’t want to.”

“This snail is grey and his shell is all brown and swirly and he’s moving along the leaf.”

Under the pitter-patter of the rain on a black umbrella flower and red umbrella flower with black dots, father and daughter watched the progress of the snail until it reached the tip where it turned around and headed back again.

“Let’s go, Daddy,” said Charlotte.

The umbrella flowers went on an expedition around the backyard, looking under leaves, poking sticks into puddles and counting the rain drops as they fell from the corner of the clothesline.

“I want to go inside now, Daddy,” said Charlotte.

At the back door, umbrellas were shaken out, gumboots pulled off and raincoats discarded.  Charlotte rushed into her bedroom and brought out her dolls to the lounge room.  From his office desk, her father heard a replayed account of their time in the garden as umbrella flowers.  A broad smile emerged on his face.

While he sat at his desk poring over the storm of paperwork, a little person who was four-almost-five appeared at his side.  She threw her arms around his middle and said, “I love you, Daddy,” before running back to the lounge room and her dolls.

“I love you, too,” he called out loud enough for Charlotte to hear.

The Art of Blowing Bubbles

Funerals in the movies tend to have rain in them as a metaphor of grief and sorrow.  At Nanna’s funeral, the day was just, well, a nice spring day.  My brother and sister stood beside me in the front row; our mother and her sister sharing tissues and sorrow.

I’ve come to think of memory as a photo album.  You know those little rectangular ones where you can flip through a hundred or so photos.  In my version I see my Nanna, the high coiffed hair held together by a film of hairspray.  I’m surprised her cigarettes didn’t set her hair alight with all that product.

You hold onto the little things about someone, whether it’s an event, a situation or a scent.  For me, it was something she said.

“You can never blow bubbles when you are angry,” my grandmother intoned. The word changed depending on the situation: sad or scared or upset, but the intent was always the same.

At the know-it-all age of five and full of boyish exuberance, I was trying to blow bubbles through a home made loop of wire dipped into bright pink dish washing-up detergent.

“This stuff is far better than any of that store-bought rubbish,” was her standard refrain.  And I must admit that even to this day I still swear by the bright pink sticky liquid.  It made awesome bubbles.

Try as I might, I could not get the bubbles to form a consistent stream like my grandmother made.  The more I tried, the less successful I was and the frustrations of a young child verged on tearful.  Nanna calmly took the loop of wire from my hand and dipped it.  She raised it to her lips and I watched the quiet exhalation of breath.  The bubbles streamed away, caught by the breeze.

“Slowly and carefully,” she instructed.

I dipped the loop and drew it towards my mouth.  The frustration was simmering but I paused while I took a deep breath.  With controlled focus I released the captured air and it raced towards the skin of detergent.  It bulged and suddenly burst.

“Try again,” was her reassurance.  It was hard to be calm when all you wanted to do was hurl the wretched thing across the yard.  The second attempt proved as futile.

“Slowly and consistently,” she repeated.

On the third try a small stream of bubbles stuttered then stopped.

“There you are.  That’s it.”

Reassured I tried again and watched the swirl of bubbles get pushed along by the wind.  We laughed trying to fill the air with as many bubbles as we could.  Little spheres popped noiselessly.

It became her sage advice for every occasion, should something go wrong.  She kept a bottle of solution and a wand on the kitchen windowsill.  Sometimes it was better than any headache tablet or cough medicine.

Nanna’s coffin slid through the curtain to the crematorium.   My father led my mother by the arm outside the chapel.  The mourners congregated in sombre two’s and three’s.  I stood aside in the shade of the alcove.  From my jacket pocket I removed a small plastic bottle of bright pink washing up liquid and a loop of wire.  A libation in honour of the dead.

Grief disrupted the rhythm of my breathing. A short, sharp inhalation held to stem the tears.  I drew the wand to my lips then methodically, deliberately exhaled. A steady stream of bubbles rushed forward settling in the hands of the breeze.  I watched them rise and dance, fade and disappear.

Big Balls

#FridayFlash – 27 August

The late afternoon sun began to dip lower over the horizon.  The sizzle of sausages and steaks intermingled with the squeals and shrieks of toddlers and young children riding bikes and running around.  Insect repellent and the onions on the grill was the eau de toilette.  The men had convened around the barbeque, beers in hand, while the women held court in the kitchen.

Jeff turned at the sound of a greeting and raised the barbeque tongs in salute.  Dave and Jenny entered through the side gate before they peeled off to the respective gender domains.  Lochie opened a beer for Dave before returning to the conversation of last night’s cricket match.

“Ponting took an absolute screamer of catch at first slip.”

“But it didn’t equal Clarkie’s catch in the deep,” said Pete.

Jeff kept turning the snags, pressing on the steaks and watching the juice pool against the bone.  “Yeah, but the bowling attack lacked any real focus.  Too short, too long, wide; they were bowling something shocking.”

The four mates kept dissecting the game and keeping a watchful eye on the kids.  The bouncing mass of bodies on the trampoline threatened to spill into boo-boos and owies.

“Careful there kids.  Only one at a time,” said Jeff.  “Hey Dave, you didn’t reply to my text last night.”

“Sorry, mate.  Just had a lot on my mind yesterday.”

“What’s up?”

“You know how I haven’t been feeling good lately?  Well, I went to the doctor yesterday to get the results of some blood tests.  There’s something wrong with my plumbing and the doc needs to go in and have a rummage around.”

“How serious are we talking here?” said Pete.

“Tests indicate prostate cancer.”

Inhaled expletives whispered between lips of men and beer bottles.

“Did the doc, like you know, have to check?” said Lochie.

“Yep, the whole bend-over-relax-this-might-feel-a-little-uncomfortable routine.”

Each man clenched involuntarily.
“How’s Jen coping with the news?”

Dave looked towards the kitchen window and saw Jen embraced by her friends, their own circle of strength.

“Yeah good.  She cried a bit last night after we called our folks to tell them the news.”

“How are you doing, though?” said Jeff.

“Ok, I guess.  Hasn’t really sunk in.  I just sat there with Jen as the doctor started talking about surgery and radiation therapy and I just nodded.  I won’t know how bad it is until he gets in there and has a look around.  I’m booked in for surgery next Friday.”

The sausages rolled on the hot plate as the sizzle of fat sparked spot fires off the grill.

“Well that makes what we’re cooking a little ironic,” said Jeff.
“Please don’t use the word ‘little’ when referring to my frank and beans,” said Dave.

“Come on, we’ve played footy together and we’ve showered together, that’s all I’m saying.”

“There might not be any beans to go with the frank after the surgery,” said Pete.

Lochie chimed in, “Hey I saw on Bondi Vet one night that a dog had, like, these plastic balls ‘cause he lost his.  Like a boob job, only for balls.”

“Not sure I like where this is going, Lochie,” said Dave.

“I’m just saying that you could maybe get some metal ones and we could call you ‘Iron Balls’.”

“I’m not having my balls removed.  At least not that I know of,” said Dave.

Lochie dashed over to the table and selected AC/DC from the pile of loose discs and cranked the volume.  Jeff, Pete and Dave nodded in time to the riff and broke into grins as they recognised the tune.  At the chorus, the boys sang along lustily.

“Oh, we’ve got big balls

We’ve got big balls

We’ve got big balls

Dirty big balls

He’s got big balls

She’s got big balls

But we’ve got the BIGGEST balls of them all.”

Their laughter overtook their singing.  The song over, Jeff raised his beer.  “Good health, mate.”

The toast was repeated and Dave nodded in appreciation before having the final word.

“Up ya bum.”