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Ironic Punishment Department

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #167 for 6th August, 2010

Strains of Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” floated into the room.

Patrick Johnson listened as the dial tone engaged the number and began to ring.  His quickly scanned the table of brochures whilst seated at the Rock and a Hard Place Café.

“Hello, Ironic Punishment Department, please hold the line,” said a gravelly voice like tombstones sliding together.

Patrick began to mumble, “That’s okay,” before he was cut off and the strains of Bobby McFerrin crackled out of the receiver.  Patrick nodded his head to the rhythm of the song and began to sing along.  He was a verse and half in and was about to whistle along when he was interrupted.

“I’m sorry for the delay,” said the voice, “how can I be of assistance?”

“Well, I’m new down here and I was investigating the possibilities of where to spend eternal damnation,” said Patrick. “I was looking through the brochures and I wanted to know about the Ironic Punishment Department.”

“The Ironic Punishment Department specifically tailors purgatorial situations based on your individuality and personality.  For example, what was your occupation on the Earth above?” said the voice that would cause Linda Blair to be cleaning peas off the ceiling for a week.

“I was a teacher, a high school English teacher,” said Patrick.

“In that case, an ironic punishment would be that you had to take a substitute class on the last day of the school term, probably a PE lesson, and no matter how much you wish, that final bell will just not sound your release.  Just for kicks, we could make the day rainy and windy and have a full moon.”

“Oh I see,” said Patrick.

“And what was your favourite food?” said the voice like a hammer on nails.

“Strawberry iced doughnuts.”

“We could either send you on a quest for the perfect strawberry iced doughnut, and you never find it, or force-feed you until you can take no more.  Alternatively, you take a bite and it tastes like broccoli or boogers or something,” the voice like fingernails down a chalkboard continued.

“Did you play an instrument in your life above?  Because if you did, we have a special songwriter’s workshop about how to write lyrics that are ironic.” asked the voice with an edge of brimstone.

“Or how about that awkward moment when you give your mother-in-law a farewell embrace and you suddenly gain an erection? Perhaps not ironic, but certainly uncomfortable.  Do you remember ever having that dream where you realise that you are naked and you hope no one notices? ”

Patrick murmured a hesitant and nervous, “Yes.”

“That can also come true, should you wish,” said the voice of a fiery furnace.  “We also have a special Mother Won’t Be Happy To Hear What You Have Done program where you relive your childhood misdemeanors in front of your mother.  All those things that you denied doing, they have a way of coming back to bite you on the bum.  Do you have any questions?”

“No, I don’t, but you’ve given me a bit to think about.”

“The Ironic Punishment Department takes pleasure in your discomfort.  Please don’t hesitate to call if you need any more information,” said the voice that wouldn’t have been out of place fronting a death metal band.

“Thank you very much for your time,” said Patrick. He returned to his brochures and began absentmindedly to whistle the refrain of the hold music.

The Place of Forgotten Remembrances

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #166  for July 30th, 2010

A covert trip into an attic reveals something unexpected.

Jessica picked up the centrepiece of the cupboard, an unopened tin of food that had no label.  The edges showed flecks of rust, the sides spotted with black marks.

“Nanna, why don’t you ever open it?” said Luke, fifteen and Jessica’s older twin (by four minutes as he liked to point out).

“Because I like to keep it a mystery.  It could be anything in that tin.  Not knowing what’s in there makes it a mystery.  And we all like to have secrets that no one knows about.”

“Well, I’m going to set up a stand at the next school fete and charge people fifty cents to come and gawk at The Tin of Mystery.”  Luke waved his hands like a conjuror and broke into a laugh.

“Nanna, are we going to have chocolate barbarian cheesecake for dessert?” said Jessica.

“Yes, we are having chocolate Bavarian cheesecake for dessert.  Run along, but don’t go too far as lunch is almost ready.”

“We’d better go before Nannaggedon descends upon us,” said Luke as he walked out beside Jessica, fearful they would be given a job to do.

Sunday lunch at Nanna’s house was a ritual, a tradition that bound the family together.  The meal never varied, save for dessert.  A leg of lamb roasted with rosemary, baked potatoes, carrots and pumpkin, a tureen of peas you could swim in and a gravy boat slopping with a thick, brown sauce made from scratch (Nanna would never have used the powdered variety).

Nanna had rebelled from the austere, formal meals of her parents, preferring the chatter of children and the laughter of family to be shared as entrees and aperitifs alongside the soup.

“Hey, Jessica, come and check out the attic.”

“But we’re not supposed to go in there.”

“We won’t be long ‘cause lunch is finished and everyone else is busy cleaning up.”

Jessica followed Luke up the stairs and pushed open the door.  The air was stale and dry with a thin film of dust.

“Reckon we’ll find some shrunken heads, or even Christmas presents?” said Luke.

The attic was Nanna’s place of forgetful remembrances, a place to store miscellaneous trinkets and memories.  Luke spotted a cardboard box newer than the rest.  Peeling back the flaps he peered inside with Jessica over his shoulder.  On top rested a khaki officer’s hat, the army insignia a tarnished bronze.

“That must be Grandpa’s hat from the war,” said Jessica.  Luke picked up the hat to see what was beneath.

“It’s like a music box or a jewellery box,” said Jessica picking it up and opening the lid.  Inside was a brown paper bag.  Jessica unfolded the mouth of bag and drew out its contents: a sepia photograph, a lock of hair tied with white cotton and a postcard.

Jessica took the edge of the photograph and ran her finger around the edge.

“It looks like Nanna, but heaps young and what’s she holding?”
“Looks like a doll,” said Luke.
“Can’t be.   It’s a baby.”

The woman in the photograph wore a simple summer dress and cradled the baby who wore a lace bonnet and was dressed in a long smock.

“Do you reckon the baby in the photo is Mum?” said Luke.

“I’ve never seen this photo before in any of the photo albums.  So why have this one hidden away?”
Jessica turned the photograph over and on the back in pencil was written “December, 1940.”  “That’s seven years before Mum was born.”

“So was this Nanna’s younger sister or something?”
“I don’t know.  I thought she was the only girl with four brothers, but in this photo, Nanna is quite young and she was the last of the family.”

“Was it Nanna’s baby?” Luke said.

He turned the post card over and read the brief note, Dear Hazel, thanks for the photograph.  Wish that I could be there.  With love, Alfred.

“This must be from Grandpa during in the war.”

“But if it’s not Mum in the picture and it’s not a younger sibling, then who is it?” said Jessica.

“Could be a cousin or some other relative.”
“But it doesn’t make sense to keep a photo, a lock of hair and the postcard.  What if the baby was Nanna’s?  Before Mum?  If it is, why keep it a secret?”

“Maybe it’s like the tin in the cupboard?  A secret stays hidden because it’s meant to.”

Heads or Tails #2

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #163 for July 9th, 2010

In her right hand a woman holds a loaded gun, in her left, a coin that just came up ‘tails’…NOW WRITE…

HEADS

The sweat beaded in her palm, moistening her fingers and lubricating the trigger.  She could feel her grip loosen, yet she resisted the urge to wipe it away, maintaining her control.  She focused on her breathing, the sensation of oxygen consuming her lungs.  It heightened her senses: touch aroused a deeper longing.  The sound of her pulse echoed in her ears.  Sweat mingled with lingering bouquets of wine on her palette.

Her excitement increased as she fondled the pistol in her hand; her breath becoming shallower and more rapid.  With each sharp intake of breath her grip tightened on the trigger.  A final breath drawn in and she squeezed the trigger.  The recoil shuddered through her body, tantalising each fibre as the ripples swept out until they subsided.  Cordite wreathed like a necklace in the aftermath.

The two naked bodies collapsed into each other, rapid breathing raising and lowering their chests against each other until there was stillness.  Her hand lay the pistol on the table, where it beckoned her, reminded her, coaxed her.

Heads or Tails

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #163 for July 9th, 2010

In her right hand a woman holds a loaded gun, in her left, a coin that just came up ‘tails’…NOW WRITE…

TAILS

It had come to this.  Fourteen years of an emotional rollercoaster.  Even now her stomach churned at the drop that was about to happen.  Her heart raced unsteadily, knowing the action that was supposed to follow.  Her mind had devised the plan, but her heart had initially rebelled.  Rationalisation overturned emotion and the cogs began to turn.  The gun felt alien in her hand; its weight unnatural.  The coin in her left hand was as lead.  Its outcome was predetermined before she turned it over in her hand.

She felt like Desdemona, turning the tables on Othello, standing beside their marriage bed.  He stirred in his sleep and she involuntarily recoiled, wrapping her left arm protectively around her ribs and stomach.  She thought of the two young children who had grown in the vault of her womb, cradled and nurtured.  Her hand circled her belly as if to create a magic circle, yet it hadn’t been able to protect her from the abuse.  Vicious blows had landed repeatedly, frequently; anger lashing out and striking her shielding arms and exposed ribs from the hand of the body that lay in front of her.  It was never the face.  Clothes could hide a multitude of received sins.  Once again she circled her belly.

She placed the coin beside the sleeping form; tax for the ferryman.  With a bitter sense of relief she placed the muzzle to his temple and pulled the trigger.

Another Brick in the Wall

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #161 for June 25th, 2010

Include a telepathic parrot in your story.

The Education Revolution of 2015 brought an end to conventional warfare.  The guns were turned into iphones.  The bombs were transformed into children’s play equipment.  But the war of the mind had just begun.

Out of the shadow of the Revolution came a new army: the hearts and souls and minds of thousands upon thousands of school children, called to learn for the advancement of their country.  They were to take over the ivory towers and wage algebraic war.  Universities and high schools waged brutal war as academic papers filled the ether like gun smoke.

But…

The Homework Police appeared as silent ghosts, sentinels of academia.

These are their stories…

“Probationary Constable Dawkins, it would be much appreciated if you could hurry up for your first shift on the beat,” said Senior Sergeant Croydon.  “And make sure you collect the parrot.”
“Yes, sir.”
Probationary Constable Dawkins followed his superior officer to the patrol car, the birdcage cradled in his arms.
“Just watch your fingers as Polly here takes a fancy to the odd digit poked inside his territory,” said Croydon.  “And his name is ‘Fingers’ which happens to be ironic and a clever pun.”
Croydon fired up the ignition and pulled onto the main road.

“We are the guardians of intellectual integrity,” intoned Croydon.  “We are the matrix that binds our community and gives us the upper edge on other fourth-grade reading nations who prefer the sandpit to intellectual endeavours.

“You see, there are two types of intellectual avoiders, cheaters if you like.  The first is your simple down and out.  They know that their life is destined for menial tasks, totally required for the function of society mind you, but their sights are not set on world domination.  All they are trying to do is boost their marks a bit to get a better job.

“The second is your driven individual.  You know, the one who was reading Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time at age four and playing Mozart’s concerto on violin and piano simultaneously by age six.  They will try anything to get ahead: brain vitamins, mental arithmetic, anything legal or illegal.

“And that’s where we come in.  Identify and prosecute.”

“But where does the parrot come in to all of this?”

“It’s telepathic.  It can read the brainwaves of students and knows if they are cheating or trying to hide something, even when kids take beta-blockers and delta wave inhibitors.”

Croydon pulled the patrol car into the grounds of the school and parked in the spot marked “Principal.”  Dawkins followed in Croydon’s wake to Reception and was directed down a corridor towards the main auditorium.

The sound of two hundred and fifty pens and pencils scratching on exam papers sounded like a bunch of mice having a Bacchanal orgy whilst writing a cryptic apocryphal gospel.

“Kids these days with their ipods and facebookspace and their make out parties.  Best thing they did was stop computer testing and go back to old fashioned pen and paper,” said Croydon.

“What was that, boss?”

“Nothing.  Just talking to myself.”

Senior Sergeant Croydon crossed his arms, moved his feet slightly apart and scanned the hall.  The presence of Homework Police was nothing new during final exams; it hardly raised an eyebrow.  Nevertheless, the guilty could feel their heart rate quicken as their breathing became shallower.

“Release the parrot, Dawkins.”

With a hop and a step the parrot exited the cage and took off around the room.  Croydon began to amble down the aisles, watching for tells and signs.  The fidgety glance; the uncomfortable bum shuffle; the dropped pencil.

Croydon whipped out a tissue and thrust it into the face of a fair haired lad.

“Stop your sniffing.  It’s just annoying.”

The parrot squawked and alighted on a desk a couple of rows over from Croydon.   A young girl let the wavy brown locks cover her face.

“Come on.  Let’s see you,” said Croydon.

“Hello, Uncle Jack,” said his niece.

Croydon lifted his cap and scratched his thinning hair.

“This is going to make Christmas a very awkward affair this year.  Let’s go.  On your feet.”

Two hundred and forty eight pairs of students’ eyes followed the parade of the guilty, while only one noticed the pencil roll off the edge of the table, watching it tumble like an acrobat until it hit the floor, its point fragmenting into splinters.

Shadows and Memories

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #159 for June 11th, 2010

Include this in your story: “I wish he’d knock on my door instead……..”

Hazel shuffled back into her solitary room, smoothing the crocheted blanket at the foot of her bed before picking the wilted heads off the flowers in the vase on the sill.  She picked up the dog eared deck of cards and laid out a hand of Solitaire.  The afternoon sun slanted across the melamine table and arthritic knuckles towards the clock on the wall.

Jason the orderly knocked four times quickly on the door before wheeling in the trolley for afternoon tea.

“Good afternoon Mrs Pendlebury.  My last stop for the day.  Would you like your usual?”

“Yes, thank you, Jason.  And do you have any of those Anzac biscuits?”

“I keep a stash just for you.”

Jason began pouring her tea and laying out the biscuits with hands that looked little more than skin and bones.

“Why do you wear that necklace?” she asked, indicating the label “Death” hanging on a silver chain.
Jason laughed to himself, “It’s the name of my favourite heavy metal band, Mrs Pendlebury.”

“It’s a little morbid, don’t you think?”

“Maybe, but I don’t let Mr Jenkins in 403 see it.  He hates being reminded of his mortality.”

“For someone so young, you have eyes that are quite deep.  What keeps you here?”

“Vampires need somewhere easy to get a fresh supply and a nursing home is just the place,” he joked.  “But I’ve seen you reading Twilight.  I kinda figured you were more of a Barbara Cartland or Danielle Steele kind of person.”

“You should have seen my Wilbur Smith and Alistair McLean collections,” said Hazel.

“See you tomorrow, Mrs Pendlebury.”

Jason exited the room and the sounds of the frail and aged became a chorus in the linoleum corridor; the voice of ghosts creeping around the doors.  The smell of disinfectant overpowered any sense of hope.  It seemed that Death wandered the corridors, knocking on the doors of the dearly departing.  Hazel checked her watch before dealing another hand.

The next afternoon after the same four sharp raps on the door, Jason prompted Hazel with a question as she sat with her back to the door, staring out the window,

“What are you thinking about, Mrs Pendlebury?”

“I was thinking about my husband, Charles.  You remember moments.  It’s a bit like a photograph, capturing a distilled emotion.  Something that gives you clarity.  Like when Charles kissed me on our wedding day after the priest had announced us as man and wife.  And I felt the little tickle of hair on the edge of his lip where he had missed shaving that morning.  During our vows Charles was so nervous that he forgot to say ‘Until death do us part,’” chuckled Hazel.  A shadow passed over her voice.

“Or the feeling of holding his hand after the birth of our first child who was stillborn.  It was like feeling solid rock in my own grief, but I knew his heart was as broken as mine.

“Charles has been gone now for near on twenty years.  You don’t spend fifty years of your life with someone and then become accustomed to living alone.  After a while, the loneliness begins to creep into your bones.

“I wish Death would come and knock on my door instead,” she said to herself.  “It would be a welcome relief.  Do you believe Death comes and takes you when you die?”

“No,” said Jason, “I think people forget that bodies age and eventually just stop.  Then Death is simply there to help to wherever they are going,” said Jason.  “It just helps people to anthropomorphise their fears.  Or should be that they personify their fears?  I was never good at poetry.”

Hazel giggled like a little girl again.  “I’m sorry that you have to listen to an old woman prattle on.”

“That’s alright, Mrs Pendlebury.  I’ll see you again soon.”

Jason looked back at Hazel.  She sat motionless, staring out the window while the steam from her cup of tea dissipated into the fading afternoon twilight.

That evening Hazel readied herself for bed, putting away her brush and reading glasses after making sure she read the last page of the novel.  She settled under the covers, drawing them up to her chin, letting her breath settle into a steady pattern.  In the early hours of the morning the sound of breathing ceased; the ghosts of the corridor whispering their lament.

Hazel stood and looked at the prone shell of her body lying on the bed before her.  There was a quiet four knocks on the door jamb.  She turned and saw Jason, dressed in a dark suit, waistcoat and pocket watch.

She stated the obvious, “I’m dead, aren’t I?  And you’re Death.  And that necklace is just a little ironic isn’t it?”

Jason smiled but bowed his head in deference to the deceased, “Yes.”

Hazel was a little perplexed, “But where is the skeleton and scythe and the black robes?”

“I come in many guises, mostly to make things easier for people.  Appearing as a skeleton tends to work only for horror freaks and weirdos, but they like the personal touch.  Now, I believe that we have a journey to take.  May I please have your arm?”

“Thank you.  Lead the way.”

May I Please Have Seniors Discount?

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #158 for June 4th, 2010

A Coming of Age Tale

Jack looked at the festive decorations, plastic champagne flutes filled with cheap bubbly and the banner, “Congratulations on your retirement” before moving alongside his colleague of twenty years.

“Do you think it’s ethically wrong to leave your own retirement party?” he asked George.

“Perhaps, but the only reason to leave your retirement party if it was in the back of a police car or an ambulance.  At your age though, I’d think you’re more likely to go out in the back of the ambo, with a paramedic shouting ‘Clear’.”

“Very funny.”

“So, what are you going to do in your twilight years?  Buy a Harley, a hair piece and get an young attractive woman?

“No.  I am going to buy a Volvo, in beige, and a beige cardigan and a beige driving hat.  If I’m feeling really adventurous, I’ll buy a convertible Volvo.”

George laughed.  “Glad to hang up the suit are you?”

“I remember getting my first suit as a young lad of sixteen.  It was Sunday best. And for wearing to weddings and funerals as my mother said.  I have worn a bag of fruit for work for the past forty-nine years.  Now, they’re just for weddings and funerals.  But, I’m thinking more funerals than weddings at my age.”

“Going to buy a caravan and become a Grey Nomad?”

“Haven’t thought a lot about travel but might do some but we travelled a lot when the kids were younger.  Might be nice as just the two of us again.  We’ll see.”

They took a sip from their drinks and watched the milling throng of well wishers pass them by.

George asked, “Looking forward to that gold watch?”

“I have never really understood the gift of the watch.  I understand that it represents all the time you have spent with a company and I’ve been here since I was sixteen.  I just don’t want a watch to remind me that every passing second leads me closer to a meeting with my maker.”

“So what’s it going to be?  Golf clubs?”

“No, couldn’t think of anything more unrealistic.  Now if it was a nice set of lawn bowls, that would be something.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Thank you.  Of all the presents there is only one that I want,” said Jack.

“What’s that?” asked George.

“My senior’s card.  I can ride the trains or buses or ferries for $2.50.  All day.  I get cheap coffee at McDonald’s.  I get concessions at the movies.  What’s not to like about being a senior citizen? I get to ask, ‘May I please have senior’s discount?’  And I get to play with the grandchildren some more.  And then there’s the garden to potter around in.  Might get a chance to display some orchids at the local show this year.”

“Sounds like a second childhood, getting all that time to play.”

George took two fresh glasses from a proffered tray.

“Here’s to retirement and coming of age.”

“Cheers.”

Old and New

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #157 for May 28th, 2010

A writer’s computer begins to flash messages on its screen, as if trying to communicate.

Charles looked at the shiny new laptop assembled in front of him.  The slight hum of the cooling fan sounded like the whisperings of little creatures that worked inside it.

“Son, I appreciate the lavish gift, but I am quite happy with my typewriter.”

“I know Dad, it’s just that with me and Sophie moving interstate, this will be a way we can keep in touch a bit more easily,” said Michael.

“There’s nothing wrong with Alexander Graham Bell’s wonderful invention for staying in touch,” said Charles.

“Yes Dad,” said Michael, “now let me show you what you can do.”  Michael began running through all the programs, but Charles got lost in applications, internet, saving documents and something called electronic mail.

“If I want to write a letter, I can put it on paper and mail it.  Like God intended.”

“But this is more convenient.”

Shortly after, Michael shook his father’s hand and took his leave.

“Gotta go.  Sophie’s packing the last of the kid’s clothing and I need to pick up some tea on the way home.”

“Thanks, son.  I do appreciate what you are doing for me.”

“No worries, Dad.”

Charles left everything running and closed the lid of the laptop before seeing his son to the door, giving him a final embrace.  He went back to his study and looked at the new laptop sitting oddly amongst his leather notebooks, fountain pens and assorted stationery.  Pushed to one side was his typewriter.  He remembered the first article he had published had come from the hammers and ribbon, all those years ago.  Sentimentality kept him tied to the typewriter.  Charles scanned the shelves to his left where he saw the result of his time hammering out stories and articles.  Retirement stemmed the flow, but he pottered away writing stories.  The computer looked like a piece of alien technology with wires and cables trailing away like tendril limbs.

“Just doesn’t feel right for an old man like me,” he said before heading to make a cup of tea.

It took Charles almost a week before he was tempted to open the laptop again.

“Might as well teach this old dog something new,” he said to himself.

Opening the lid he watched it come to life again.  Tentatively he moved the mouse and watched the cursor track his movements.  He clicked on the symbol of a page and found something that looked reassuringly familiar.

“Ah, a blank page.  Some things don’t change.  But what to fill it with?”  Charles stared at the blank page with a degree of satisfaction as he flicked through a nearby notebook.

There was a distinct pop and a small box appeared on the screen with a message, Hi there.

Charles leant back, slightly bemused.  The messages continued, Are you having a nice day? What have you been doing this week?”

“Now my computer is talking to me.  I saw 2001.  I know how this ends.  Not nicely, particularly if you’re name is Dave.”

Each message was accompanied by the popping sound and it began to unnerve Charles.  He had no idea what to do or if he should respond.

Are you there?

“Yes, but I don’t want you to know that.”

Charles watched the flashing cursor, waiting for the next message.  Slowly he reached for the mouse, but unsure of what to do with it.  The jangling of the telephone jarred Charles.  He watched the screen as he backed away towards the hallway to answer the phone.

“Hello, Charles speaking.”

“Hi Dad, it’s Michael.”

“Michael, the computer you gave me was trying to talk to me.”

There was a faint laugh from the other end of the phone.

“Dad, that was me.  I set up an instant messaging system on your computer so that we could talk online.”

“I doubt I’ll get this technology thing, son.  I’ll just use the telephone from now on.”

The Candle Burns Lowly

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #156 for May 21st, 2010

A boy and his father awaken early to watch the sunrise from their mountain campsite, but they begin to panic when the sky remains dark long into the afternoon.

Narrowneck Peninsula struck out like a forefinger into the valley.  Sheer on both sides, the valley spread out, flat and thickly wooded until the peak of Mount Solitary rose up from the east.  Matt unzipped the flap of the tent and stood stretching in the dark moments before sunrise.  The residual heat of summer began to creep out from under the sandstone escarpment, even before the sun had poked its rosy fingers over the horizon.

“Come on, Rob or you’ll miss the sunrise.”

A low grunt sounded from the tent, followed by the rustle of a sleeping bag.  Rob dragged himself out of the tent and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“Stand over here and look towards Mount Solitary.  Watch the colours change with the light.  The cloud cover is quite thick this morning so it should be something spectacular.”

“What’s so interesting about the sunrise?  It’s just the refraction of light through the atmosphere.”

“Stop being so scientific.  You always look at the logic and science but never see the emotion and the beauty, but in time you will learn.”

Rob observed the light dim slightly, moving from dark blue to purple before a pinpoint of light broached the horizon.  The kaleidoscope of reds and oranges, purples and yellows shifted and played out before him.

“Come on, Rob.  You have to be impressed by that.”

“It’s still just science to me.”

The sun moved behind the bank of clouds but the light flickered like a candle wavering in a draught.  The clouds boiled across the line of the horizon in scarlet and orange.

“Dad, why is the day not getting any brighter?”

Matt raised a pair of binoculars to his eyes and looked towards the east.  “I’m not sure.  Let’s head towards Mount Solitary.”
Breaking camp they traversed down the peninsula and across the valley floor.  The canopy darkened the valley floor and the birds were silent, moving like shadows in the tree tops towards the west.  By late morning Matt and Rob had reached the base of Mount Solitary.  Matt scanned the sky but the canopy obscured his view.

“It’s still dark out there and it’s almost lunch.”

“What could be causing it?” asked Rob.

“I am not sure, but I have some suspicions.”

“Such as?”

“Not worth putting out there at the moment.”

The ascent to the peak was steep and the pair began after a short break.  They toiled up the trail, focused on their footsteps and glancing occasionally at the sky.  The sense of twilight sat heavy on Matt but he couldn’t pin his fears to anything secure.

At the peak of the mountain Matt and Rob had a panoramic view.  Away to the east lay the metropolis of Greater Sydney.  The darkness shifted under a heat haze.  A column of smoke rose up, adding to the blanket of clouds across the sky.

“Dad, what happened?”

“It seems like the humans have finally destroyed themselves.”

“But what will become of us robots?”

Split the Difference

[Fiction] Friday Challenge #154 for May 7th, 2010

A man aspiring to be a pro bowler loses to his young daughter.

Steve entered the bowling alley with a little black rain cloud in tow.  The sulky weather system named Laura drifted in with her arms folded, earphones plugged in and the hood of her jacket pulled up.

“Dad, why did I have to come with you?”

“You know why.  Your Mum had to take your brother to the doctor and there was no one else to look after you.”

“But Samantha’s parents let her stay home by herself.  Everyone else’s parents let them.”

Steve wanted to trot out the Parent One Liner Guide Book to Trump Your Teen and use the “If everyone else was jumping off the cliff, would you do it too” line but thought better of it.  Instead he went with the truth.

“I’m not quite ready to let my just-turned-thirteen year old daughter stay home all by herself.”

“That’s not fair,” Laura replied.

“Fair or not, that’s just how it is, sweetheart.”

“But Dad…” she whined.

“I’m not going to argue this with you.  Sorry you have to be here, but that’s just how it is for tonight.  Can’t say having you here particularly thrills me either.  Bloke’s night and all.”

Laura’s face widened with teenage indignation at her father’s off hand comment.  She parried the blow with the sullen, silent treatment and folded her arms after burrowing into her earphones.

She rolled her eyes and chose to ignore the other members of the bowling team as they arrived in their matching purple and gold shirts, a fuddy duddy boy band on too much red cordial as she described them.  Mack “The Knife,” Peter “Wrench,” Jono “Dog Nuts” and her father, Steve “Goose” chatted jovially and set about their practice round, shining balls, adjusting shoes and strapping on gloves.

The four men set about their game and Laura watched the scoreboard set up something that resembled algebra, with numbers and “x’s” and dashes that was as confusing to Laura as the da Vinci code.  Her father had talked of going pro some time soon, but Laura had not bothered to understand.

As the first game drew to its conclusion, Laura’s boredom teamed up with her offended nature to speak up.

“Can I have a go?”

The boys smiled condescendingly but couldn’t think of a good reason to refuse her.  Steve stammered but no words really came out.  Self assured but not yet with the sassiness of a teen decided to challenge her father.

“What?  Are you afraid you’ll be beaten by a girl?” she said.

Laura pushed at the buttons she knew her father would respond to and he gave no quarter.

He gave her a few basic pointers and techniques, chose her a ball from the rack and let her up to bowl.

Her father asked, “Would you like the bumpers up to bowl sweetheart?”
She looked at him from under her eyebrows and turned back to bowl.  She measured the lane with her eye, swung her arm back and released the ball.  The clatter of pins resounded triumphantly as they fell, leaving two off to the right.  A smattering of polite applause came from behind.  Taking her second shot, she eyed it off and delivered the shot, clearing out the frame.

“Good bit of luck there darling,” her father said.

Steve’s first shot went slightly wider than he had anticipated, leaving an awkward seven-ten split.  He prepared the shot but only cleaned up one.  From the second frame, Laura’s confidence grew while her father’s weakened.  She channelled every ounce of teenage indignation of not being allowed to stay at home all by herself and delivered each ball with conviction.  Spare followed strike, but not everything that glisters turned to perfection.  Steve’s first frame set the pattern and there was no recovery.  Laura smiled smugly at another failed attempt to convert a seven-ten split and the boys shifted uneasily.

The last pin failed to fall and Laura whooped in celebration.

“I beat you.  You should have left me at home.  I beat Dad,” she gloated in a sing-song voice.

The Knife, Wrench and Dog Nuts clapped her on the back and were very thankful their children hadn’t been there.

“Don’t worry, Steve,” said Wrench, “You just had a bad game.  It happens.”

“I can still ground her for being cheeky and a sore winner,” Steve laughed as he took Laura’s hand and headed home.