Hopes and Fears – A Poem and Deconstruction

As I am wont to do, I write poetry on twitter to explore, experiment and elucidate. 

This is today’s poem

Hopes and Fears

we are scared of our dreams;
not that our worst fears
will come to life
but the fulfilment of our hopes
will be the end of who we are

But I also have a good group of writing friends who are happy to pile on critique and feedback. Rob C suggested this: “This is great: simple-yet-complex, hugely poignant, heavily true. If you’ll allow a suggestion – ‘afraid’ instead of ‘scared’, for the softer sound, the more thoughtful intonation to match the philosophical backbone of the poem, and to match the ‘f’ sounds that run throughout.”

My response was this: It’s a little more philosophical than I am used to writing; there is no concrete imagery to ground the idea (my writing modus operandi), relying more on the intellectual to make it function.

Rob felt he may have overstepped the mark. He hadn’t. I said to him, “Nope; I like the feedback. Helps to see new things. It was written on the spur of the moment, as is most of my twitter poetry so refinement is not a part of the process. Some editing is involved but without depth. Comments help refine and edit, with the hope of putting it into an anthology in the near future.”

Writing is never a solitary act; it’s collaborative. I may write in isolation but my writing tribe helps me refine and improve my work. 

So a simple suggestion, the replacement of a single word, has made the poem stronger. 

we are afraid of our dreams;
not that our worst fears
will come to life
but the fulfilment of our hopes
will be the end of who we are

Finally, there is the reader who is involved in the construction of meaning. That’s you. What meaning do you make?